"Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man", By Steve Harvey With Denene Millner

Based on my experiences with the only woman in my life at the moment, mommy, I believe women show love by nurturing, showing compassion and expressing it in a form that is unconditional. Assuming that’s what most women expect to be reciprocated from a man? Well, I know this is a mother-son relationship which is totally different from a relationship with a boyfriend, fiancée or husband but I’m somewhat certain they’re similar in some situations. From a woman’s point of view, you love to cuddle, kiss, hug, cry out all your problems and be vulnerable around your man which shows some level of comfort and trust, right? Therefore, you’re anticipating the same outcome from the opposite sex?

Recall when I stated that my goals revolved around family, money and success. Also recall that men are driven by who they are, what they do and how much money they make. And if they haven’t accomplished their goals the ultimate feeling of being “a man” disappears into thin air. Why is this so?

Men express love differently. There are three (3) ways in which men show love:

• Profess

• Provide

• Protect

If he has never professed his love for you or claimed you as his “baby”, “girlfriend” or “wife” and has never carried you around people of utmost importance to him like his mother, close friends and family, do you really think he’s taking you seriously? Or again, he’s probably putting so much time and effort into himself that you cannot be the priority at the moment. Steve said that once a man does not have his purpose out of the way with God at the forefront of his life, he is not properly structured. The order should be God, Family, Education, Business and everything else after. He cannot be in a committed relationship because there is no one for him to hold himself accountable to or answer to if and when he does wrong. So, why do you think he will do the right thing for you?

Since the beginning of time, it has been nailed in the head of everyone on the planet that men should be providers and protectors and if they are not taking on such roles as a man then he is essentially, not a man. Probably, that’s one of the reasons I want to own so many rental units and have this amount of passive income, to take care of my loved ones. To ensure that even when I’m gone they still have food on the table and a roof over their heads. Not saying I’ll go out and fight every time someone says something bad to my wife or disrespects her but I will always want to stand up for her, go to the gym, learn how to box and buss gun so that I can protect myself as well as my family.

But let’s be real, do females really expect us to be all cuddly and kissy when society forced us to be stern and rough? When I fell off my bicycle, getting bruises on my knees and elbows at an age younger than 7, there was always that one person who said “I’m a man, get up and try again.” Not saying that advice is horrible advice, but no one ever took into account my feelings, the emotions I was willing to express at the moment. So why do you expect anything to change once I get older? In my opinion, I think it’s going to get worse with age. “Men shouldn’t cry”, lol and the list can go on and on.

The female is the one who constantly needs emotional support, coming home from work crying stating that she hates her job, and her friends are this and her co-workers are that. If you as the man start coming home complaining about life and getting emotional all the time, she is going to see you as soft, no questions asked. If she can’t depend on you to comfort her when she is in need of emotional support because you are emotional, don’t you think she’ll view you differently? That you are too feminine? Or too weak? 

What you say isn’t necessarily what your heart truly desires.

A line:

• “But remember what drives a man; real men do what they have to do to make sure their people are taken care of, clothed, housed, and reasonably satisfied, and if they’re doing anything less than that, they’re not men- or shall we say, he’s not your man, because he will eventually do this for someone’s daughter, maybe not you.”

Hopefully some value was added to your life. On to the next chapter.